The skies are painted the color of summer blueberries, stretching to the horizon like a canvas and buttoned tightly at the seams. It kisses the sea, spilling aquamarines and emeralds into the calm waves as they rise and fall with the tides. The sea and its mysteries have always heighted my senses while leaving me in my own thoughts – the contents of which, as of late, churn like the foamy waters reaching for the shore.
The sun, not to be left out, has flooded the rugged landscape with hot, golden light that captures the warmth of the coral-browns, the burnt oranges and the warm peaches of the earth. It also has turned my pale skin to the honey-brown of my mother’s heritage. Although I might feel like a ghost, at least I don’t look like one.
I’ve been looking out at that horizon, watching the sky kiss the sea when the sun rises; a long, loving and embracing kiss that completes a circuit, making them one - entangled but distinct, contrasting but complimentary, like two trees, growing together but never overshadowing the other. This vast space where the heavens meet the earth prompted me to hum a song in my head:
Ooh Baby, you know what it’s worth?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth.
They say in heaven, love comes first.
Let’s make heaven a place on earth.
Love comes first. My thoughts on these words moved with the ocean, cresting with the breaking waves and spilling out across the sands. A sage once told me that life can be boiled down to two choices we make repeatedly: choices made in fear or in love. Love builds, strengthens, enjoys, tastes, experiences and embraces. Fear destroys, angers, frustrates, suspects, distorts and disappoints. It seems like an easy choice here – but the catch is that making choices from love requires us to be brave, requires us to open our hearts and minds and requires us to question the unknown. But we fear the unknown.
It’s easier to make choices from fear because they are somewhat comforting. You already know what you’re going to get. The risks have been measured and accounted for, the outcome has already been predicted and like fools we trade in our dreams for a pittance. (Me included). Fear is sitting on the shoreline, afraid of venturing out into the open ocean because you think nothing can possibly exist past that blue-gray horizon. Rigid, unmoving land is much safer. But it’s rigid and unmoving.
In heaven, so the song says, love comes first – and where the heavens embrace the seas I see a blue-gray line that joins, includes, encompasses, forgives and celebrates. I’ve made a mental note to print out a photo of that horizon and carry it with me. Why? Because after I leave this place I will return to the noise and distractions of my semi-charmed life, and I want to remember that I must find my own horizon and explore and embrace its infinite possibilities.
Thank you Olivia for including me.
Thank you Konrad for listening and our walk to nowhere.
Thank you, Olivia’s Mom, for reminding me that a simple, full and happy life feels just as good as it looks. You inspired us all.
Thank you Mama, for your kindness, compassion and unconditional love.
Thank you Estelle for calling me when I needed you most (but was too afraid to ask).
