Rattlesnake Mountain Hike


Actually no. For once. Not. Thinking. At. All... Just being!

 We wanted fresh air. It always starts with a simple enough request, a lazy car ride to Snoqualmie Falls  and a quick 1/4 mile jaunt down to the basin where the water thunders. Problem is, the whole area was closed for renovations (a trail renovation? Really?) so we upped the ante. Rattlesnake Mountain. (Strangely enough, no rattlesnakes).

A few exits further and we find ourselves looking up a steep cliff, which is when Panda tells me that's where we're climbing. Great. At least I had the sense not to wear heels, being back in the Pacific Northwest, I had quickly reverted to my College Sweater (so comfy), blue jeans and sans makeup.

The hike wasn't so hard after all, 2 miles each way and lots of stops for chatter, eating and gatorade breaks. I forgot how wonderful it was to breath in deep here, the calm woods, the greeness of everything, the friends who somehow brought the bounce back in my step. 

Nana! It's time to eat! You have to eat Nana! Nana! Eaaaaaat!
Sitting on top of the world, looking down at the spectacular view.



Loving the view, the breeze. The no rain.

There are a few things I'd really like to do while I'm here in Seattle.

- all you can eat oysters
- crashing some college professors courses and see if they spot me
- go to a Seahawk/Mariner's game
- drink coffee at Zoka's and contemplate the universe
- spend too much time at bookstores
- eat seafood. Lots of fresh seafood.
- take a lot of ferries. Anywhere.



I really enjoyed spending some time with Danielle on this little hike, jumping over rocks, poking snails that were out of their shells and watching the chipmunks beg for food (or try to steal it). I especially enjoyed shooting the jumping shots over 2000 feet above the ground, which look a lot like the shots from our bali trip four years before. Thanks Danie.
Jumping monkeys! (Don't worry, we're not near the edge).
Jumping Panda and Monkey!

Thank you Panda, for taking us around and spending your day with us. I know you would have rather been working.

Thank you Christopher-bear for carrying my food all the way to the top in the grocery bags. It was very yummy when I was hungry. =)

Thank you Nana! Nana you gotta eat!

28 | 82


Danielle and Amanda Collins @ Swensens
Twin birthdays.
When I was a kid, I hated sharing my birthday with my sister. It was a childhood of shared cakes, candles, gifts and friends. It got to the point that one year, I decided I would have my own birthday party. But as I look back, fondly, I remember our kick-ass parties where we co-starred as hostesses. There was the Mc Donald's show stopper when we were 5 years old, the only McDonald's I know with a huge garden attached. There was the Swensens ice-cream party in Singapore where my mother hosted 30-odd kids getting even more hyper on all-you-can-eat ice cream sugar rush and then the famous pirate-party onboard Borja, the boat we had named after my mother. It was that birthday party (my 10th I believe) that Ryan Clements snuck me down to the galley "because that's where your present is" and kissed me. In later years, there was the time that Danielle and I incidentally picked out the exact same present for each other (Tiffany's heart keychains in silver, which I still use today) and the birthday we had together in Bali... where in Danie tradition, she smeared cake all over my face. (This year she forgot and I wasn't about to bring it up).

Danie and Riani, Circa 1998

Over the years, we've spent so much (un-necessary) time apart that it's become a real treat to share my birthday with her. As I grow older, I realize that the most important thing in life is the relationships that we have with those we love. Having someone to share the joy with is well, twice as nice. In the past few months, I've been blessed enough to get closer to all the women in my family (and some girlfriends as well, whose strength, love and support has been so wonderful). It's funny realizing that what you've always wanted was there all along, but like a fool, you were just looking for it in the wrong places. Think with your heart!

Danie and Riani. Bali, 25th Birthday. (Quarter Century!)
Sharing.
I also started to believe that it doesn't really matter where you are - it's always about who you're with. My Ayah* in Malaysia opened my eyes to that when I asked him where in the world he liked being the most. "You know Riani," he says, in his deep Ayah voice, "you can be in the most beautiful place in the world, but if you're not there with people you love and who love you, it's never as beautiful as it could be." True that Ayah. True that. Which is why I'm happy to share my birthday with Danielle these days. Because it doesn't diminish the special-ness, or the awesome-ness of the celebration. It actually increases it, gives it more depth and makes me feel that sharing - of lives, of stories, of experiences, of feelings, dreams, fears, emotions... gives those relationships a chance to grow stronger bonds. Gives you people to share the moments with, to look back at your life with. It gives your life depth, meaning and purpose. Ooooooooh that's a lot of deep stuff!

Be Inspired.
So on this birthday, I turn a glorious Twenty Eight years. It's the inverse of my year of birth and I consider that  lucky. Last year I tried to simplify my life (failed miserably at it) but this year I'm going to concentrate on my mantra for this year: be inspired. I'm going to look for the goodness in people, in situations, in opportunities, in challenges. I'm going to look for the goodness in my heart, in those of others and be inspired by the world around me. I'm going to do the things that make me happy, and allow myself to be inspired by the stories of others. I'm making room in my heart and in my head and allowing good things to rush in, to fill me up, so there's no more room for any sadness, frustration or anger. Being inspired means leaving the dark corners in your soul and heading out into this glorious world.





A word on Chinese numbers.


2 The number 2 (二 or 两, Pinyin: èr or liăng) is a good number in Chinese culture. There is a Chinese saying "good things come in pairs". It is common to use double symbols in product brandnames, e.g. double happiness, double coin, double elephants etc.


8 The word for "eight" (八 Pinyin: bā) sounds similar to the word which means "prosper" or "wealth" (发 – short for "发财", Pinyin: fā). In regional dialects the words for "eight" and "fortune" are also similar, e.g. Cantonese "baat3" and "faat3".


28 | 82
So Danielle, I wish you a very double-happiness, double-prosperous and double-inspiritous year. I'm really excited about what the universe is about to throw my way - and I hope you are too! 


Danielle and; Riani. 28 years  | Adam and Jacob. 4 years
Danielle and I ran into these beautiful twin boys on our birthday, and the were sweet enough to pose for a picture with us. I asked one of them what his name was, and those big brown eyes looked up at me and replied: "Four!"

* Ayah is my adopt-a-dad in Malaysia. I call him crying, I call him for advice, I call to ask for his opinions on stuff. He's a very sensible Malay man with a wicked sense of humor and a real understanding of what's important in life.  He walks his talk. Everyday. How many people do you know who do that?

Indie Jones walk in Hong Kong.

Today I was frusthursad, which is the brilliant combination of frustration, hurt and sadness. It stems from being hurt about something, frustrated that there's not much you can do about it and then having sadness creep into your heart like damp mold. Needless to say, not fun.

I left the house, in search of a sanctuary, a temple of peace or a place of quiet contemplation. Looking up and down the hill, I surveyed the high-rises packed like sardines and decided to ascend to the Peak and go for a quiet walk with me, myself and I. 



Taking a red cabbie, I closed my eyes as the car swayed through the hair-pin turns. It doesn't help that the driver thinks he's the Chinese Michael Schumacher. 55 HKD later I'm amongst the crowds of Chinese mainlanders following their color-coordinated tour guides.

Dodging the tourists, I weaved through the ruined photo-ops and dipped into the small lane which started the trek around the crown of the hill. It as already a few degrees cooler, although in Hong Kong that means that you're slightly damp instead of completely drenched, and I, ladies and gentlemen, am not the type of woman who sweats. 

Walking through the jungley vegetation, I started to breath a little easier, my heart didn't pound as much and I became a little less agitated. Just a little. But being up there near the clouds, listening to the crickets and disregarding the patchwork of skyscrapers, vertical slums and shopping malls below - I felt so far away from everything. That was a good feeling.


With the sun dipping low in the horizon, I came upon a platform with a wrought iron bench overlooking the sea and hills of thick, tropical forest. The deepness of the greens and the chaos in the landscape reminded me of Indonesia, of place that Indie Jones would venture to for the promise of treasure.

I sat there until it got so dark I couldn't write in my small purple journal anymore. I sat there longer, breathing in the clean(ish)air, listening to the stillness and appreciating the small miracles I was previewed to. There was the young Chinese couple who talked so intently to each other, so in love and so wrapped up in their conversation they didn't notice my presence. There was the dog who wore booties on his walk, the elderly British couple tearing out the evasive vine species they didn't particularly like. It was a beautiful, calm and rejuvenating few hours.

Calm and rejuvenating enough to get through the rest of the day. Almost. 


GREAT-FUL /ˈgrātfəl/

grate·ful/ˈgrātfəl/
Adjective: Feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful




My mother is right. That in any situation, showing or expressing gratitude is a noble way to remember who we are and find peace in our hearts. 

I am so very grateful for a lot of things. 

  • I am grateful to have such a wonderful, loving family. 
  • I am grateful for my mother, who brings much love and joy and who reminds me that I am never alone. 
  • I am grateful for my twin sister who brings a mirror for me to see myself through and who reminds me that I am never alone. 
  • I am grateful for my little sister, who warms my heart and who reminds me that I am never alone. 
  • I am grateful to have such wonderful friends. They are all over the world, but I am glad to see that friendship has no boundaries.  
  • I am grateful to have a flexible job which brings in money.
  • I am grateful that I don't depend on anyone. 
  • I am grateful to be in good health. 
  • I am grateful that I'm not a ugly club-foot hag with an affection for garlic. 
  • I am grateful to be a citizen of a first-world country. 
  • I am grateful that I have a first-class education that I can fall back on. 
  • I am grateful that my creator made me strong enough to handle anything he throws my way. 
  • I am grateful, that after all, I still love myself. And always will.

Looking to the horizon.




The skies are painted the color of summer blueberries, stretching to the horizon like a canvas and buttoned tightly at the seams. It kisses the sea, spilling aquamarines and emeralds into the calm waves as they rise and fall with the tides. The sea and its mysteries have always heighted my senses while leaving me in my own thoughts – the contents of which, as of late, churn like the foamy waters reaching for the shore.

The sun, not to be left out, has flooded the rugged landscape with hot, golden light that captures the warmth of the coral-browns, the burnt oranges and the warm peaches of the earth. It also has turned my pale skin to the honey-brown of my mother’s heritage.  Although I might feel like a ghost, at least I don’t look like one.



I’ve been looking out at that horizon, watching the sky kiss the sea when the sun rises;  a long, loving and embracing kiss that completes a circuit, making them one - entangled but distinct, contrasting but complimentary, like two trees, growing together but never overshadowing the other.  This vast space where the heavens meet the earth prompted me to hum a song in my head:

Ooh Baby, you know what it’s worth?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth.
They say in heaven, love comes first.
Let’s make heaven a place on earth.

Love comes first. My thoughts on these words moved with the ocean, cresting with the breaking waves and spilling out across the sands. A sage once told me that life can be boiled down to two choices we make repeatedly: choices made in fear or in love.  Love builds, strengthens, enjoys, tastes, experiences and embraces. Fear destroys, angers, frustrates, suspects, distorts and disappoints.  It seems like an easy choice here – but the catch is that making choices from love requires us to be brave, requires us to open our hearts and minds and requires us to question the unknown.  But we fear the unknown.

It’s easier to make choices from fear because they are somewhat comforting. You already know what you’re going to get. The risks have been measured and accounted for, the outcome has already been predicted and like fools we trade in our dreams for a pittance. (Me included). Fear is sitting on the shoreline, afraid of venturing out into the open ocean because you think nothing can possibly exist past that blue-gray horizon. Rigid, unmoving land is much safer. But it’s rigid and unmoving.

In heaven, so the song says, love comes first – and where the heavens embrace the seas I see a blue-gray line that joins, includes, encompasses, forgives and celebrates.  I’ve made a mental note to print out a photo of that horizon and carry it with me. Why? Because after I leave this place I will return to the noise and distractions of my semi-charmed life, and I want to remember that I must find my own horizon and explore and embrace its infinite possibilities.



Thank you Olivia for including me.
Thank you Konrad for listening and our walk to nowhere.
Thank you, Olivia’s Mom, for  reminding me that a simple, full and happy life feels just as good as it looks. You inspired us all.
Thank you Mama, for your kindness, compassion and unconditional love.
Thank you Estelle for calling me when I needed you most (but was too afraid to ask).



Hello. Remember me?


This month, I'll be celebrating my 10-year high school reunion in the Island of the Gods. I'm not feeling the usual apprehension about seeing my peers and measuring our accomplishment against each other - perhaps it's because I've never really felt in competition with anyone. (And when you have a genetic duplicate, trust me, it's a hard discipline to keep. People will compare away... but luckily Danie and I have always avoided such conflicts). 

I'm excited because it's revisiting the part of my life that I remember most fondly. The late-night conversations over Martabak Manis and Teh Botol, going to the cinema in Pondok Indah Mall for Rp 14,000 and going bowling at Garuda (before it burned down in the riots). Ahhhh yes, compared to the kids in the Big Durian now, we enjoyed how truly ghetto Jakarta was in the 90's. 

All this reminiscing reminded me about a few semi-serious things that I wanted to share with you. I feel that although we have the demands of today, we can't let real life slip by. We can't allow ourselves to be distracted by the small tasks that won't matter a year from now, a decade from now  - because before you know it, the game is up, the show is done, the curtain closes. The ten-year event is a special chapter in my book of life - a celebration yes, but also  a reminder about the passing of time.

During a midnight walk this evening, I thought to myself about what made me truly happy in life - and I re-remembered that it's always been the small things. Tea with friends, love letters, road trips, home-made jam, Christmas's where Danie hides the cinnimon rolls, reading thick books, farmer's markets and writing. I love writing.

Sorry for the radio silence my friends. Let's get to writing again... I'll send you more short articulations throughout the week. 

And for you dragons out there, I'll see you in Bali. 

Naga! Naga! Naga!
Riani

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